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HOW DO I STOP ARGUING WITH MY WIFE/GIRLFRIEND?

If you and your spouse are constantly bickering back and forth with each other you may be wondering about how to stop arguing in a relationship. Married couples spend a lot of time together and there are bound to be times when there are issues that lead to relationship fights. Unfortunately when relationship fights become extreme and start to harm the marriage it is time to look for answers on how to stop arguing in a relationship.

Although it is natural to focus on a certain word or actions that started the pointless fight, constant relationship fights are usually not about what couples are fighting about at the moment but deeper unresolved issues in the marriage. Unresolved feeling such as, feeling of being taken for granted, feeling unappreciated, or feeling that your spouse is not being honest with you may be at the root of most arguing in relationship problems.

When there is constant arguing in relationships it is important to recognise that communication in marriage has collapsed. Below are some tips on how to stop arguing in a relationship

1. Start working on your communication in marriage skills. This is not a simple skill for many marriage couples and may require some help through online self help resources or marriage counselling

2. You don't have to always win. Marriage should not be a power struggle between spouses so pick your disagreements wisely. Try not to argue over small insignificant things. Although some things may be annoying they are not all worth having relationship fights.

3. Speak to your spouse with respect, yelling, bullying, and using fowl language does not make you the winner it just makes you seem like an unreasonable person, even if you are right.

4. Learning to listen to your spouse is a great how to stop arguing in a relationship technique. Listening and giving some form of confirmation that you are listening to your spouses concerns will quell some arguments. This doesn't mean you necessarily agree with them but it is hard to argue with someone who is not arguing with you. Everyone wants their feeling and opinions to be heard and listening can greatly reduce arguments:

A nod,
A word or statement
Eye contact with a nod
Any constructive way to make them feel that you are listening to there concerns
Avoid using terms like "you always" or "you never". If there is something that you want to discuss with your spouse be respectful and precise about what specific thing or things concern you. If it is a criticism make it a constructive criticism by being specific about the issue, when it happened,without blame and how you feel it can be worked out.

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